• Randi Max

Sick of Selfies


Photo credit: Pinterest.

Why do people think I care about their selfie? Americans have become increasingly narcissistic, and frankly it’s become boring. It hit me this week on social media when all the artful black-and-white selfies starting popping up on my Facebook feed as a “female solidarity” movement. At first, I was mixed. Of course, I care deeply about women supporting one another through their friendships, but how does posting an artfully photographed-and-edited black-and-white of yourself accomplish female solidarity? Yes, I understand it was for the #challengeaccepted initiative that originated in Brazil as a female-empowerment movement, and that much I support.  However, my issue isn’t with posting the occasional lovely photograph, and it certainly isn't with supporting women; it is when it becomes TOO MUCH. Excessively displaying pictures of yourself achieves exactly the opposite result, and people are too obtuse to realize it. It comes across as desperate, attention-seeking and needy. I may lose some “Facebook” friends over this one, but my real friends will give a robust chortle and applaud. Actually, they may even bombard me with a bunch of selfies. How many missing moments are there in a person’s life when one cannot exercise the self-control of indulging in your filtered, wannabe-model moments? You are actually missing the singular moment, that beach sunset or perfect view. It is documented that some people have actually cascaded to their deaths, because they have fallen off a cliff while trying to capture their dream selfie. It’s stupid. If you really want to help women, there are better ways than posting a glamorous B&W. Donate unused books to a literacy charity. How about dropping off your unused kids’ backpacks, that are collecting dust in your garage, to a charity that supports foster children? Start a fundraiser for your favorite cause. Or simply make that decision not to spread gossip about petty nonsense. I don’t want to know if our mutual friend’s husband did not show up to her hysterectomy procedure. If you are a true friend, why are you telling me this? And what do you say about me behind my back? We can stop the self-indulgent selfie and change our behavior. Don’t be a dilettante. Am I guilty of vanity selfies? Absolutely. But I don’t post them because other than my husband, and thank God for him, I am cognizant that nobody else cares. I enjoy the photo from your magical days of cheerleading when you were a perfect ten. You sure looked fabulous 25 years ago, but do I really need to be subjected to same photo every three months, year after year? Solution: Unfollow. I hate to admit it, but the percentages of men/women are lopsided with regard to the vapid selfie cultural phenomenon. Men just don’t do it as much. Exception: the weirdos that are plagued with the delusion that we want to see your dick pics—just stop. I understand the “Instas” and “Snaps” are part of a social-media culture dominating our youth, but at what point does a person grow up and act like an adult? Sometimes I feel sad for the people that need this constant and monotonous validation of the “shell.” My commentary is about extreme selfie culture. Sure, there are times when I’m really happy to see you looking fabulous. And I would be lying if I did not confess that I feel fantastic when I post a photo and receive heartfelt compliments. The question is at what point is your picture-taking over the top, like drinking a bottle of wine every night with dinner? Do I need to start a selfie-anonymous blog, so people can feel free to post away and just get it out of their system? We need something new to talk about that is more important than our aesthetics. We have more to contribute to the world.

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